WARNING: This post is raw, real and honest. It may hurt to read. It may cause you to turn away in disbelief. But, if you dig deep on this, it can and will change the way you look at life and business for the better. It’s a game changer.
The thing is, we as human beings lie. We lie to ourselves on a constant basis. But the biggest lie that we tell ourselves, is that we don’t lie.
Two years ago I was mid way through my second real attempt at creating a business. A successful venture this time around, having learnt from all the mistakes I made in my first four year business venture that didn’t play out too well.
During this time, I came across a funny little question: “What did you lie about today?”
At first glance I proudly responded to myself, “Nothing”. I reminded myself that I’m a good man, I’m working hard, I’m getting things done and while business was tough, I felt like I was moving in the right direction.
However, over the next few hours that question played on my mind. I kept asking myself, “What did you lie about today?”
I knew this question had come to me on purpose and it required investigation. I felt as though there was something bubbling up inside of me that was telling me my surface level answer wasn’t enough; that there was an answer deep down inside that didn’t want to surface, but needed to be aired.
It was that evening before I went to bed that a sense of guilt came over me. With the question”What did you lie about today?” now heavily on my mind, I was restless and struggled to sleep.
And so I started thinking back over the years as to what I lied about, the thousands of conversations with friends and family that had little ‘white lies’ that are actually still lies.
I knew I needed to work on this if I was going to move forward (and get to sleep). So I grabbed a pen and paper and started to write about the day that was, with the filter of “What did you lie about today?”
At first I struggled to write anything at all. But after sticking with it for a while, an emotional flurry of words bled onto the page. I’d almost go as far to say enough to fill a small book.
The lies I wrote down consisted of:
– I lied to myself this morning as to why I couldn’t go the gym.
– I lied to myself that my business was smashing it and I didn’t have to make those extra sales calls.
– I lied to myself that business was going so well I could spend a few hours on Facebook.
– I lied to myself that in order for my business to grow I need to spend time looking at YouTube clips.
– I lied to my friends that being an entrepreneur was easy and I had it all.
– I lied to my family that my business was making me more money than when I was working for someone else.
– I lied to myself saying I had the answers to the game of business and didn’t need any help.
– I lied to my business partner telling him that I had everything under control.
– I lied to those around me who asked “How are you today?” when I answered “Really good!”
And the list goes on.
It was in that moment that I realised I was actually living a lie. I was completely obsessed with telling myself I was living the life I’d dreamt about and yet I wasn’t there yet.
That I was a successful entrepreneur who had all the answers (the truth being that I didn’t have all the answers and an advisor or coach could take us to the next level).
That I had disposable money and didn’t need to make more calls to get more leads (the truth being I didn’t have the confidence to make cold sales calls).
That I was in a really good place and was happy with how life was unfolding (the truth being that I was alone, stressed and disconnected from everyone around me).
You see, I was living what we’d consider a life of little ‘white lies’ that when added up were actually killing my business and holding me back from doing my life’s best work.
Lies that were so subliminal I didn’t even realise they were present.
I ask you this question right now: what did you lie about today?
Your surface level answer will be “Nothing”, however I challenge you to dig deeper and listen to what comes up.
Ask yourself the question throughout the day and, if you’re brave enough, write down what comes to the surface in a little note pad.
Each day over the next 30 days I want you to ask yourself this question before you go to bed and write down what comes to your mind.
It’s here, in becoming aware of what is truly going on, that you can begin to reach new heights in business and life. You’ll be able to grow as a powerful human being and bring your life’s best work to the table because you’re not losing energy on the little lies that are slowly killing you and your business.
By doing this you’ll make life easier as you start to live a life of true authenticity. A life of honesty. People around you, your prospects, customers, family and friends will connect with you in a way you’ve always dreamed.
More recommended articles by Ben Salkeld:
– How to Create a Life By Design
– 21 Daily Practices That Will Help You Live Life at Your Best
– Take Your Productivity to The Next Level Using The 80/20 Rule